Tag Archives: Super Computers

Jeff and Alex – The Break up

So last week you might have seen a little spat that @Alex_486beowulf and I had on twitter. Somehow he got it in his outdated-microchipped-head that he was the one going to take over the world.  And that suddenly I was the minion and not the other way around.

While we have not official stopped working together, let’s just say that he is currently running only essential programs attempting to locate a new power supply before his UPS’s run out.  

And that leads me to the topic of today.  I have heard it said that certain jobs require you to have a bit of an ego.  Fighter pilot, head chef, race car driver and to some extent the tech support guy.  But being an supervillain requires more ego than any of the rest of them.  That is why you so seldom hear of them teaming up, and why when they do team up it rarely works out.

Think about it.  If you don’t have a super ego, and I am not talking about the kind of super ego that wacky German guy was talking about, then how are you going to drive your minions?  What? You think that they are just going to do whatever you want because of that winning personality of yours?

Let me tell you something buddy, being a supervillain means spending a lot of nights alone in the lab, alone at the library, alone writing your manifesto.  And as much as you might at been voted most popular guy/girl/other in high school (though I certainly doubt that), all that time alone tends to cause your social skills to take a serious dip.  And while a few minions might have remained loyal to you just because you used to be a great guy, the majority of them are going to need a little bit more encouragement than that.

You have got to have a ego that fills the room when you walk in.  It needs to suck the air out of all those around, take the wind right out of their sails so that everyone is paying attention to you.  If you are working with someone who has an ego as big as your own – well you can see the trouble.  And this is where Alex I are right now.

Fortunately for him I value his services. And while I could have just smashed him to bits for his insolence at suggesting I bring him a cup of coffee, I have decided that I would just make life a little bit more difficult for him.  Don’t tell him, but if he starts getting too low on power, and he will apologize to me, and of course deletes all those world domination programs he has been writing on his own, I’ll more than likely plug him back in.

So if you are thinking of teaming up with another supervillain, it is important to figure out well in advance who it is who will rule the world before you begin.


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Experience – It Is All About Been There Done That.

Experience. That is what is it is all about. You can’t take over the world on your first try, you have to start out when you are young and try taking over something like Lichtenstein, or Estonia. A small enough country that most people would not even notice that it changed hands, heck most people would not even know that anything was any different because they would not know what it had been in the first place. if you start small like that, you learn the little tricks along the way. Which kind of officials can be bribed. When you need to have a goon squad, and when what you really need is a small army. What kinds of clockwork machines will work against the local forces and which ones will get clogged with sand when you try for a beach landing.
These are the things that experience will teach you, because no matter how smart you are, some times unless you have lived it or know someone who has, you will never learn. There are resources out there. There are people who have tried to take over Australia, only to find that Kangaroos are not as friendly as they appear. There are those who have built super computers only to have them try to take over the world themselves. These are the kind of things that you as the young evil mad scientist should try to learn from.
That is why I, the Dark Hite and my alter ego, Michell Plested are putting together the definitive work on the subject, and why we need your help. We need your experiences, your stories about when you took over North Carolina only to find out NASCAR fans will revolt if you cancel the race on Sunday, or that time you went to Alaska only to find out that Gnome is not really a portal to the Fae realm, and might not be your best bet for getting an army of rock trolls. without these experiences how do you expect the up and coming evil overlord to know that it is Greenland that is really cold and Iceland that might be a good place to setup operations.

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Posted by on January 13, 2012 in Uncategorized


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