Today we have the um, honor of posting this note from, Dr. Evil-n-Carnate: A.K.A. Steve Wolencheck, current occupant of cubical 3257J who is one of the contributors to A Method To the Madness: A Guide To The Super Evil
Welcome to the 7th circle of the underworld my friend, or as the people around me call it, Unitide Incorporated. It is from here that I rule all that I survey. And by rule I mean I make everyone who enters my domain miserable. Really I do, you should read the article about how to do this in the new book.
But that is not what I am here to talk to you about. The Evil League has chosen me to be the mouth piece for their most recent work, and I am honored to do so, seeing that I had a lot to do with it. You see I wrote the operating system that runs the computers that they used to make it happen. I write all the operating systems that the Evil league uses. And many of you who use other operating systems, I wrote those two, just because I am that evil.
So on to the information:
It has come to our attention that the so called boy superhero Mik Murdoch, whose so called adventures you can read about in the Prix Aurora nominated book by the same name, has rescued the editor Michell Plested and his family. He has them hidden away in some “safe house” some where and they are now under his “protection.” A lot of good that will do them.
Mik, as of yesterday we pumped the safe house full of knockout gas and replaced the editor and his family with sophisticated holograms. They are so life like you would not even know they were not real. You remember the Doctor on the Star Trek Voyager series? They make him look like he was written in GWBasic. Not even 7 of 9 with a 24th century tricorder could tell them from the real thing, but believe me they are replacements.
So as you can tell, you superheroes really don’t stand a chance against us. And to all you aspiring super villains out there, get yourself a copy of A Method to the Madness: A Guide To The Super Evil, and you too might one day be able to be as evil as we are. Well, probably not that evil, but you will be a lot more evil that you would have been if you didn’t read the book.
Dr. Evil-n-Carnate: A.K.A. Steve Wolencheck, current occupant of cubical 3257J, affectionately referred to as “that jerk who eats lunch in his cubicle even though we have a lunch room and he really should eat there”, was born in Leftovershoe. From those humble beginnings all those years ago, he began a rise to the top. He is a humble computer programmer by day, but by night, and sometimes late in the afternoon because he had to get up early for work, he fights the eternal fight against good. He hopes that one day he will have the power to crush good forever, but for now is satisfied with making sure that this office mates suffer needlessly.